Doubtless many of my dedicated readers have been out hammering into a cold, dry westerly, lips cracked and bleeding, snot crusting around the nostrils and wondered to themselves, “How does The Crank deal with this?”

Well, the answer is simple. I handle it because I’m hard. H-A-R-D.

Now I’m aware that this option is not open to everybody. So here are a couple ways to start you on the path to HARDNESS. 

H - hate everyone who is not like you.

A - attack for no reason, at anytime. Even in day to day life. Push in at restaurants etc.

R - refuse to acknowledge anyone who does not directly contribute to your success.

D - deny training. 

N - never do a turn.

E - exhaust others by arranging impossible training rides for the day before a race.

S - sit on.

S - sleep at work to maximise your training time.

Remember Get Hard.

IMAGE CREDIT : B&W Title Image gallica.bnf.fr "HARD MAN" 

ABOUT THE CRANK BY JOHN CASKEY

The Crank is the embodiment of archetypal cranky veteran bike riders, whose worn out bike riding stories are embellished each time they are recounted. Hard as nails The Crank is a devious scoundrel who rides roughshod over anyone who has the misfortune to meet him. This Crank story by John Caskey.